Stealing Candy
by The Marauders3
Summary: Oneshot. What happens to the couples in the palace on Valentine's Day? Lots of CJ


**Title: **Stealing Candy

**By:** dragoneye

**Rating:** K+

**Written because:** Karlee told me to.

**Thanks to: **Kate, Sarah, and Karlee, for all their help. I am eternally grateful.

**Dedicated to:** RevSue, the queen of all PD fics, who doesn't know she has a story dedicated to her.

**Disclaimer**: These characters are, quite unfortunately, not mine. They belong to Disney, who borrowed them from Meg Cabot. I only get to play with them…

Charlotte rolled her eyes and popped the heart-shaped candy that read "Let's Talk" into her mouth. She still didn't understand how a holiday originally in honor of St. Valentine could become such a cheesy love-fest. All she knew was that the conversation hearts currently residing in the candy dish on her desk were forced upon her by the queen of her country. Queen Mia. Charlotte could still hardly believe that the awkward teenager she had first met was now a lovely young woman, queen of her country, and engaged to be married. Married. To Lord Deveraux. Mia had been so depressed when Lord Nicholas had run away, but of course he had come back, and he and Mia were almost immediately engaged. Charlotte allowed herself a wistful sigh at the fact that her two queens would be married before Shades even said anything remotely romantic to her. Pushing thoughts of her secret crush aside, Charlotte tried to forget the stale aftertaste that the candy heart had left behind. She _much_ preferred the usual heart-shaped Valentine's chocolates. But, what Queen Mia wanted, Queen Mia got, whether it be a new children's center or conversation hearts on her aide's desk. With the thought of Genovia's children in her mind, Charlotte made her way to the meeting of Parliament, where she would try to get those barmy old coots to actually make a decision for a change.

Clarisse waited for her ex-assistant to leave the office, then snuck in and looked around. Why was she sneaking though? It still was _her_ office. Just because she wasn't reigning queen anymore didn't mean she didn't need somewhere to work. Then the task at hand arose in her brain, and she set about to doing it before anyone caught her.

Lounging on the couch in his (HIS!) suite, Joseph looked up as his wife came in.

"I don't know what all the fuss is about," he said, closing the novel he had been reading. "You women tell me Jane Eyre is such a wonderful story; well, I don't like it. Too romantic."

"That's why we like it, Joseph darling." Clarisse prodded his legs with her free hand, and he moved them so she could lie next to him.

"What's this?" he asked suddenly, feeling something cold and hard pressing into his stomach. Clarisse looked up at him with a twinkle in her eye, moving her hand to reveal Charlotte's metal candy dish, filled with pastel-colored candy hearts. He looked up at Clarisse, who was trying desperately to suppress a grin. "Is this your idea of a romantic Valentine's Day gift? Because if so, it's…'hug me'? What?" Joseph was mildly confused as his wife presented him with a strangely green, heart-shaped sweet. He opened his mouth to ask her what she was doing, but she pushed the candy into his mouth and pulled him to her so his arms were around her. Joseph suddenly realized her intentions as he freed a hand to dig around in the candy dish. Finding the heart he wanted, he pulled away to show it to Clarisse.

"Love you," she mouthed. Then she turned to the candy dish to pick out a white heart with pink lettering that read "kiss me". Joseph grinned and pulled his wife even closer to fulfill the heart's message, and then some…

Charlotte walked into her office after a mind-numbingly dull Parliament meeting. Sitting at her desk to sort the day's mail, she noticed something was missing. She made a mental checklist of all the things usually there, and realized her candy dish was missing. Charlotte was confused for a moment, then shrugged it off and got back to her job.

Clarisse snuck into her office (again!) and replaced the (now very much empty) candy dish on her aide's desk.

Charlotte returned to her desk after some very unsuccessful flirting with Shades. She was somewhat surprised to find her candy dish returned to its usual spot on her desk, and also surprised to see that it was empty. She shrugged again and reached under her desk to fill the dish with her favorite heart-shaped chocolates instead.

Charlotte made her way down to the security room to see if Shades had caught the candy-stealer on tape. She felt the eyes of the other two security men on her as she entered the room.

"Charlotte, what brings a lovely lady like yourself down here?" Shades asked.

"I have a question for you," she said, glancing warily at the other men, who seemed to be eyeing her legs and/or bosom.

Shades noticed her apprehension at the fact that the other men were in the room. "Frank, George, give us a moment, would you?" They left. "So Charlotte, did you need something?" He leaned back in his chair.

Charlotte cleared her throat, suddenly feeling a bit nervous for an unknown reason. "Yes actually, I was wondering if you had the office camera footage on tape?"

"Why?"

"Erm… because something was taken from me, and I'd like to know who did it…"

"What was taken?"

"Uh, nothing important, I just was curious why someone would take it…"

Shades eyed her warily for a moment, then swiveled in his chair to consult the numerous monitors that lined the wall. He found the one that showed an empty office with Charlotte's desk barely visible, then rewound the tape until he saw some motion. Charlotte leaned in closer so she could see the figure. Whoever it was had her empty candy dish in their hand… Charlotte saw them look around, seemingly nervously, and replace the dish on her desk. When the person turned around to leave the office, Charlotte gasped as she recognized the figure of Queen Clarisse.

"The queen stole your candy dish?" Shades swung around in his chair, looking at her with an odd mixture of curiosity and smugness on his face.

"Apparently she did."

"Wonder why… did she take all your candy?"

"Apparently she did."

"Bet she and old Joe had some fun with that..."

"Apparently she did."

"Would you stop saying that?"

"Make me."

At the challenge, Shades stood up. Charlotte felt incredibly short as his tall frame towered over her. "Make you?" he said. She nodded, feeling very embarrassed. "How would you suggest I do that?"

Charlotte felt her cheeks burn as he inched closer to her, and realized that he was doing his best to be seductive. She smiled a bit at the idea. "I don't know, Shades, how _should _you make me stop talking?"

"I could occupy your mouth with other activities…"

"I think you're right, I am feeling a bit hungry, care to join me for a snack?"

"That's not what I mean, Charlotte."

"What did you mean then?" Her heart started beating faster and she couldn't forget the fact that his eyes, normally a soft brown, were turning ever darker.

"I meant that I thought we could… you know…" His confidence seemed to leave him now that they were in such close proximity.

"Kiss?" Without waiting for an answer, Charlotte made up her mind, stood on her tiptoes, pressed her lips firmly to his for a few seconds, then pulled away, looked into his eyes, and ran out of the room. Shades was left looking at her quickly retreating form with a look of shock and longing on his face.

Frank and George, seeing Charlotte run away, went back into the security room to find Shades still staring after her.

"What happened?" Frank asked.

"She kissed me…"

The two men looked at each other and laughed. "Sure Shades, Charlotte really kissed you. Yeah, and I'm Greta Garbo."

"Well Greta, whoever you are, she's divine…" Shades sighed, then shook his head and looked around. "What were we doing? Oh yeah," and he sat back down in his chair like nothing had happened.

Charlotte walked into her room much later, still wondering how she had gathered the courage to kiss Shades like that. Seriously, people didn't just go around kissing people, why had she done it? She felt like a fool. Now she would never be able to face him again. As she contemplated the thought of drowning herself in ice cream while watching a romantic old film, Charlotte heard a knock at her door. Wondering who on earth would want to see her at this hour of night, she opened it to find…

"Shades? What are you doing here?" Her eyes were wide, and she knew that her mouth must be hanging open a bit.

"I thought… after what happened… I didn't know… uh… can I come in?"

Charlotte stepped aside and let him in her room, still slightly curious as to why he was there, still extremely embarrassed as to her actions earlier. She watched as he looked nervously about. She opened her mouth to say something, but he beat her to it. 

"So why'd you kiss me?"

How blatant of him. She had no idea. "I have no idea."

"So it was just a… just a kiss? It didn't mean anything to you?"

Charlotte noticed his rather hurt expression and hoped he wasn't pulling her leg. "Yes, actually, it did mean something to me."

"Something like what?" His face was suddenly brighter, his eyes hopeful.

"Something like… more than what we have now…"

"More than friendship?"

"Yes."

"Something like love?"

Again, how blatant of him. She, again, had no idea. "I'm not sure."

"Me either, but I know it's more than just friendship." He was getting dangerously close now; she could almost feel his breath on her lips. She looked up at him.

"_Much_ more than friendship, Shades," and she proceeded to show him just how much she felt for him.

Clarisse woke up in her husband's arms the next morning.

"Happy Valentine's Day," he said, looking down and smiling at her.

"Happy Valentine's Day." She kissed him.

"Do you think love is in the air?" she asked after a moment.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that we're in love, Mia and Nicholas are in love, and quite frankly, I think Charlotte has quite a crush on our new Head of Security..."

"If he hurts her, I'll kill him."

Clarisse laughed. "Joseph darling, I don't think that will happen."

Joseph raised an eyebrow, not that she could see it. "What makes you say that?"

"The fact that Mia walked in on them kissing in Charlotte's room last night."

"She did WHAT?!"

Clarisse giggled a bit, feeling like a giddy young teenager. "Mia went to go ask Charlotte about something last night, and being Mia, 'forgot' to knock. Needless to say, she informed me that Charlotte and Shades were, in her words, 'getting it on' on the couch."

Joseph chuckled a bit. "About time; I was worrying they'd wait until they're our age to 'get it on'."

"Nothing wrong with that though, now is there?"

Joseph looked at her. "No, there is most certainly not anything wrong with that. But you do know Clarisse, I'm not as young as I used to be…"

"Oh tosh, that doesn't mean a thing Joseph, you should know that."

And she proceeded to show him that age most certainly did not matter in some areas of life.

THE END

Thank you for reading, and hope you enjoyed my first Princess Diaries fic! Tell me what you thought in a review and you get some conversation hearts…

-dragoneye of The Marauders3


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